Where the gear that failed my bench gets its public autopsy. Everything reviewed here was bought with my own money and tested for real — no sponsors, no free samples, no mercy. The good stuff earns a spot in the store. The rest ends up here, so you don't pay the tuition I did.

THE ISOTOPE SCALE

ISO-5  ▓▓▓▓▓  STABLE — earned it; sold in the store

ISO-4  ▓▓▓▓░  ENRICHED — very good; minor gripes

ISO-3  ▓▓▓░░  REACTIVE — works; handle with care

ISO-2  ▓▓░░░  DECAYING — failing; skip it

ISO-1  ▓░░░░  MELTDOWN — the roasts below